fhe last night was good. i took notes since mark and lynn couldn't be there. i just have to share - you're the token audience - enjoy.
Forgiveness - they don't change, you do. It is letting go, for us, releasing and freeing self, change of direction (repentance). Satan is the one that says it's too difficult and painful to forgive and let go. The forgiver is in a sense repenting - becoming a new being. The things we should "repent of" should be phrased "things we need to change." bad feelings keep you from god - that's what would need changing. Anger can be so debilitating. It sucks up energy. Can't be joyful and angry at same time. Need awareness - make decision or choice. Forgiveness is an opportunity to find meaning in the situation. You have to repent (or give up) your story - not necessarily real but your version of real. Pain is real but atonement can take care of that. Don't deny atonement. There's pride in saying your pain is too big - implying christ didn't drink the whole cup or fully descend below all - that is the biggest lie of all - christ really did take on all suffering. Can't serve two masters - suffering and joy. That's where you have to make a choice. You have to get really good at forgiveness if you aspire to godhood - 99% of god's job is forgiveness. We came here to get a body so there’s something essential about experiencing pain in our spiritual development. All pain is connected spiritually and physically. Hiding and smashing down pain is like avoiding shame - it will only drag you down - satan's plan - you have to be actively involved in dealing with pain. Forgiveness is not: forgetting, condoning, excusing, call wrong right, understanding - you may never be able to do so and neither may they understand your pain - some horrible atrocities don't deserve understanding, liking them, putting yourself back in a situation to be reoffended. Sometimes your virtues can be turned to vices if you give beyond a point of appropriateness - discontinue unhealthy abusive situations otherwise you are allowing them to continue to sin as they abuse or take advantage of you. Forgiveness is not about trust - just love - don't let alcoholic tend a bar. Some situations requiring forgiveness aren't about sin at all - offense is often taken when malice is not intended - perspective is what needs changing. Sometimes we adopt stories that we buy into completely and they've taken over our lives - see story in movie moonstruck - just an accident. repenting and changing just means recognizing your trigger points that feel offense when malice may or may not be intended. The only thing you can know are your own feelings - if even that - so you can't figure out what others mean. forgiveness doesn't take away their consequences - but it's not necessarily an accounting to you that they need to make. justice will come but it's not ours to exact. Forgiveness is a process and may take awhile - don't beat yourself up if you can't do it right away - serious prayer or not. Trust can come - but it's measured and should be inspired not emotionally initiated. Forgive yourself - this can be a challenge - if you find yourself justifying things - essentially it's an inability to forgive yourself. Self justification prevents you from forgiving yourself - others can't make it better for you or make you feel okay. Only prayer and self forgiveness will help you let go of blame. Satan is all about you running and hiding in the shame place. figure out what laces in your life you need to forgive yourself and be done with it. Then forgiveness for others will be easier. Find the balance in your life. It's okay to make mistakes - be willing to laugh at yourself. Know yourself as god knows you and together you can work out your exaltation. Laugh as you fall and rise with hope - be joyful. Embrace your life experience.