humility

mike is a regular commenter on my blog so i've gotten in the habit of reading his. the other day he wrote a post about panhandlers - you know, the people on street corners with their hands out. last night i went to the temple (hooray - geoff and darren were there too) and as usual passed the same man and woman that are usually there. they DO look in need and are always polite in their asking, never too forward. since mike's post and my own thoughts had been rumbling around in my brain i decided this time to actually dig something out of the purse and give it to one of them. on my way in i was a bit late so i walked on by, but as i was going home i found 50 cents. my reasoning of late (and i tell you i've been known to go back and forth) is that this is their job. it's not a job i want. it earns them some semblance of a living. each time i see them i'm reminded of the commandment to feed the poor and needy - deuteronomy 15:11 "for the poor shall never cease out of the land: therefore I command thee, saying, thou shalt open thine hand wide unto thy brother, to thy poor, and to thy needy, in thy land..." (yes i know this means spiritually as much as physically and some argue that instead of giving money that can be used for drugs you should give food, etc.) it occurred to me that no one questions the way i spend my living so i don't want to question others. i'm telling myself i'm paying them for reminding me of my blessings and reminding me of where i don't want to wind up. so that's it.

by the way... i think school is making me way tired. last night in the temple, as i've been known to do way too often, i dozed off. but this time the dozing was so deep the lady next to me had to give me a knudge when it was one of those important times to be awake. it was some deep dozing, but luckily that was embarrassing enough to kick me mostly awake for the rest of the session!