Redding

It's a small town in california. But it has one of the coolest bridges ever. We walked over it the night before and it was all lit up from below. I can't say i've ever seen so many spiderwebs in my life! Well we went back in the daylight - super cool at both times of day.

leg 1 of cali trip

My friends kristen and angela (friends fro church) and I headed west this morning. Tonight we sleep in a motel 6 in redding. After tasty chevy's for dinner we went to sun dial bridge - wow - worth seeing! Most of the day was spent on the road. We stopped in lassen national park and spent time next to summit lake. I wish I knew the name of the montain - but I haven't fully studied the map. Anyway, it was a gorgeous lake. It made the perfect sounds and the breeze felt like heaven. Just see how clear the water is! I wish we camped there and stayed a day or two. But tomorrow we head north to crescent city.

enemies

earlier this week during scripture study i got thinking about enemies. in 2 nephi 4 nephi prays that his enemies way will be hedged up. i wondered who my enemies were. they're hard to spot. if i can't spot them how can i pray for them? pray for them in the good, bless them sort of way, and in the hedge them up sort of way - you know, so that they aren't enemies anymore and aren't a problem. yesterday i watched a short bit on the byutv - it was a healthy living program and there was a panel of experts. one of the experts said that we live in an environment that promotes unhealthy food and unhealthy behavior. we go around telling ourselves and others that we should just make good choices - yes there are temptations, but we should have self control and not give in. he pointed out that our environment in relation to healthy eating is like putting a person in a room plastered with pornography and telling that person to not look or be affected by it. at some point it will drive you bonkers. his point was that at some point, no matter our desire to behave responsibly, we will make poor eating and behavior choices because our environment is so toxic. it got me thinking that my enemies may be all the advertising, as well as "norms" that surround me. i thought of all the friends and acquaintances, well meaning and kind that they are, with their various suggestions/advice/offers that may not be healthy for me physically, mentally, or emotionally. i think we need to pray for our enemies because a lot of them may not consciously even BE our enemies - they are well meaning loved ones who may be misguided by their own "enemies." so what do you think of that? sure makes me want to be a lot more self aware and careful about my actions and choices and beliefs.

Sick

I hate being sick. I hate coughing. I hate feeling lethargic. I hate blowing my nose. I hate not that smiling takes effort. It reminds me of a great fortune cookie I got earlier this week: it's tough being fanscinating. Especially, I say, when i'm sick.

housing market

so... a couple good friends just recently bought new homes. hooray for low interest rates! well, as you know, the housing market is always a bit crazy. just for a point of interest i'd like to share another snippet from my father's journal. this one is dated november 27, 1979.

The real estate market here has suffered a real turn for the worse. Nationwide the prime interest rate has risen to over 15% which has really put a damper on real estate transactions. Our friends the Melzers have been trying very hard to sell their home to move to Los Angeles. They have had some difficulty which may be some indication that it may not be so easy for us either. One thing is for sure – we will move. Since it was right that we should come here and have this experience, I am sure a way will be provided, either easily or with difficulty, for us to be able to move on to the next assignment.

what is interesting to me is that my parents bought their house in california knowing they'd only be there for a year. that's a lot of house selling headache. seems like renting would have been a good option - but i don't know the rules and norms of home ownership back in the late 70's. this morning i read in the ny times an article about president carter's speech he delivered in july of 1979. apparently the nation was in a "crisis" and needed some leadership and hope. the article taled about how carter was different from regan and obama by speaking of reality and the need for responsibility as opposed to a bunch of fluffy positive talk and dreams. having just typed my father's experiences of the same time period i don't think my father was much of a news reader - at least his journal reflects none of the concern this article seemed to imply was gripping the nation. his days are filled with fixing things around the house (including a car) and conducting music in sunday school - it was apparently a very rewarding calling for him. he also does a lot of dreaming about missionary work and balancing his work responsibilities with family time. it reminds me of a comment made in my relief society the other day. the woman said that if you are prepared and have heeded the prophet's warnings of the last 10 years then this financial crisis our nation seems to be in won't be having too drastic of an effect on you. i like to think that may parents were heeding the prophet - i know they were - my dad mentions quite a few times things president kimball said. hooray for goodly parents.

30 years ago

yesterday i was at my mother's house. i found an old journal my father managed to keep for about a year of his life 30 years ago. i decided to take it home and type it up to share with my family. luckily my father had decent hand writing. this project is going more easily than i thought. i can't say i love sitting at my computer typing, but i love reliving my childhood through my father's eyes, especially with the added perspective i now have of being his age. he was just about my current age when he was writing these entries. i just finished one dated june 12, 1979. here's the final paragraph of that entry:

Friday night and Sunday morning I went to help an elderly lady in our ward to put to bed and get out of bed her husband who is very nearly completely paralyzed from a stroke. He seems to be very alert mentally but is almost completely dependant on others for everything. He cannot even speak beyond just a few words. I would never want to be in a condition like that. If I were no longer able to do anything I would much rather pass along to a new task. This also has impressed upon me more deeply the importance of doing worthwhile and important things now while I can. I must not let the time go by without accomplishing something of worth there is much to do.

Last day

Well it's super late so my stories will probably be short. Basically I got fried by the sun today. We had "water frolics" in the pool. An hour in the sun can do major damage. Other things we did - bret and I lost at doubles shuffleboard to a couple who just found out they're pregnant - also, he attends harvard law school. Then we played lightning with the brothers - I think they like to wear me out by "going easy" until I give up from exhaustion. Oh we also learned a cool new game called kubb. Or wa it cubb? Or kuub? Or cuub? Anyway it's a foreign game involving blocks you throw. Bret and I played with a couple siblings and it took over an hour - we were evenly matched. Then we played with the oldest and only officially athletic member of the family and we lost twice in about half an hour. Still it was fun! Okay now to bed. We check out tomorrow. Sadness.

Ow!

Today began with a torn nail - I even bled - seriously I have never had such a horrible injury before. It happened while making my bed. I wish I could tell you how we spent the morning - oh, I remember, shooting arrows. And watching family members throw horseshoes, climb rock walls, play shuffleboard, and shoot arrows. In the afternoon we hiked to first falls. That was far enough for me as my finger was throbbing. I tried walleyball but it hurt too much. We played air hockey, foosball, and ping pong before dinner and finished the night with some serious pool ball. Another full day at camp. Oh, and a good discussion about the plan of salvation. I want your insights - but not by blog - talk to me in person if you/i think to.

Bees!

Tonight I found a bee on my floor, near death, crawling towards the open door. I finally helped him out after I took this photo to document it. It was a huge black and yellow bumble bee. Later, after visiting the facilities, I found another one! The second one seemed to have more life but he was still grounded. I wonder where they came from.

Fishing

This morning began a bit earlier than usual - we went fishing about 7:30. One of the nieces was successful! Which is a miracle because of all the nieces this is the one who had never fished before and who cared the most about getting one and who had the least concept of how much luck is required to even catch one. Apparently the fish wasn't even fully hooked and could/should have gotten away. I tell you little miracles happen often but it feels good to notice and recognize them. The rest of the day consisted of playing horseshoes, water aerobics, remote control car crashing contest, walleyball (i was the lone female and bret said I did well - he's far too generous), frontier days activities like hatchet throwing and train riding, and the best part is an early bed time! Tomorrow we even get to sleep in.

Shuffleboard champ

Okay, not quite champs. We've only won our first round - but it was fun to learn a new sport and feel successful. Granted our competition was just as new to the game. Besides lots of shuffleboard we did team building field games that got us wet and made us feel like winners. Keeping track of lots of little girls, though, can be a bit of a challenge in such a chaotic setting. Luckily we still have more adults than kids. After exhausting ourselves near to death we all went swimming and played some pool style basketball. In the evening we had fishing and painting ceramics. I commented to bret that I feel like i've played more in just one day than I have in an entire summer. I can't believe we have 3 more full days of this! Oh and the food is good too. I crack up, though, at all the kids who insist on drinking powerade because it is bright blue. Whatever happened to the good old days of kool-aid?

Sunday at camp

Since my fans (plewe) demand more stories i'll see what I can say about sunday at family camp.
We had sacrament meeting in an outdoor amphitheater. Testimonies went about 20 minutes over. There are a few large family reunions in attendance so you can imagine family was a theme to most of them. One group is headed by an emeritus general authority - sorenson. Another is temple president in brazil. The temple president actually gave a great fireside this evening on the church's status in brazil. Apparenly it's second in size (membership wise) to the u.s. In rs and eq they just had everyone introduce themselves and then we had more testimonies. In the afternoon we took family pictures - one brother kept bugging me about being "extra" but I think I handled him just fine. It was my first opportunity, though, to pose in a family picture in which I don't fully belong. The introductions in rs were awkward too, as was the "adult mixer" they had after lunch. Being part of a family reunion where you're "a friend" can be weird if you let it. Mostly I put on my best "i belong" attitude and behavior and I fit just fine. In fact one of the nieces has declared that i'm her new best friend. I helped 2 different (other) nieces use the restroom. I also helped with dressing for bed like I did last night. And at the family's baby blessing (another evening activity) I got to play the piano. Except for the one brother's silly questions I think everyone's making me feel right at home. It was truly an enjoyable sabbath!

Aspen grove family camp

I'm ready for bed. This is my cozy cabin I have all to myself. Poor bret has to share a cabin this size with his brother and 3 nieces. And truthfully, of all the family I think I have the best cabin of all. It is directly across from the bathrooms - lucky! So far i've had fun bonding with the nieces. What trusting girls! I think I can testify of the need to be like little children at least in the sense of being trusting. I got to help take them to the bathroom and brush their teeth. I even got to help them floss. It was fun hanging out in the communal bathroom with the sisters in law and other nieces. It's a great feeling to have kids automatically embrace you and sit on your lap and take your hand and show you everything they care about. so far - great!

not to mention i've had a fabulous lat couple days with my family. This morning we picked cherries, made a pie, made pom poms, played badminton, held kids, read books, grilled chicken, cleaned dishes, laughed hard, chatted it up with siblings, you know - all the good stuff.

Antelope island

For a ward activity today we went to antelope island. It was quite the great adventure! we hiked to dooley's knob and could see both sides of the island. I was amazed at how shallow the lake appears. We ate tiedyed fruit rollups and took cell phone photos - what could be more celebratory?

My bed

It was about a year ago I bought my new bed. Now that i'm back from a difficult work trip I must say I love my bed as much today as I did this time last year.
At a get to know you activity I attended tonight we were asked to share an amazing thing about ourselves. Or the most amazing thing that has happened to us - something amazing. As my mind wandered I realized that at least once a year or more often I have something amazing happen in my life. I live an amazing life. I am grateful for a life so full of amazing moments that I couldn't come up with just one to share. I am the lucky one! I am grateful for all the amazing people that influence my life on a daily basis.

Tragedy averted

I know I said i'm on mini-holiday but truthfully it's been pretty tough. Today I woke up with a headache only to discover my students were having technology issues. Then, after lunch when my kids told me to go take a nap (apparently they noticed my grumpiness) I discovered i'd lost one of my favorite earrings. Argh talk about sadness. I texted the kids who were still back at the lunch table but they never answered. So I went back an did my own searching. No luck. Finally I met up with the kids in class and asked if they'd seen my earring at lunch. Apparently before lunch, as I was putting away the laptop, my earring fell in the laptop case. It was still there! Hooray!
(i know that wasn't a terribly riveting story, but it's been a hard day.)

More holiday

As you know my summer holiday began with a trip to nantucket. After that I enjoyed a staycation that included a ton of mosquito bites. This week i'm in logan - not that far from home and certainly not much of a holiday - but I AM staying in a hotel and that's always a kick in the pants for me. I'm here with a bunch of yearbook students. This photo is from tonight's ropes course activity. We did pretty well and I got to build some trust with one student with whom I needed to. It's beautiful weather up here, i've got a good staff, we've been pretty productive, and now i'm ready for bed - happiness.

I've been marked!

My neighbor kid likes to come over and play. Play consists of having me read to him or help him write words or just do yard work with him. He's 5. This morning I noticed he's left his mark on my house - not to mention the four toys still sitting on my porch. Sigh.

Bye bye nantucket

You may be surprised to leaen that nantucket airport has 3 gates. These are numbers 2 and 3. I never saw #1 but i'm guessing it was the one the little cessnas use that don't require security checks. I think there were about 5 full time employed people present to check me and my bags. Oh, and those of the other 6 people on my plane. The I'd checker was funny. Apparently he just got glasses for the first time. He said I was the very first person for whom he had to don them to check my I'd. He paused a few seconds to properly appreciate the significance of the life change he was going through.

School

As I mentioned, I visited marshall's school while I was there. I took this photo as I went to meet him at the end of my trip. He borrowed a co-workers car to take me to the airport. That was much appreciated as i'm convinced my bag grew in weight while I visited. I only picked up 3 books while I was there.

Whale!

This is a tiny part of the huge sperm whale skeleton on display in the whaling museum. Good times it was! Made me almost miss reading moby dick. Was that book a mere 600 pages? The one i'm reading on this trip is 800 - dickens' "our mutual friend." I find it funny that it is lynn's fault i'm readin this book and it was years ago that I mocked lynn for reading "bleak house" while on holiday. At least i'm enjoying the book!

Lighthouse

I left the house a bit earlier than I needed to for my planned excursions so I decided to add a walk to the local lighthouse while I was out. It was rather small I thought. The beach was too. But I liked the wild roses growing on it. In general the walk was great - I passed tons of quaint places to stay.

Black tar

I ate well on this trip. For dessert most nights we had black tar with ice cream - also known as hot fudge cake. This morning I helped kirsten bake chocolate chip cookies. The best treat may have been some boston baked bread we had last night - 3 grains and buttermilk is pretty much the extent of it.

Oldest house

I know - you can't see the house - but this is the only photo I remembered to take - it was while we were waiting to get a tour of the oldest house on the island. The house was from the late 1600's and was built as a wedding gift for the marriage between a coffin and a gardner - those were their names. Their marriage marked the end of the half share revolt. Apparently, early in nantucket history only 10 (or 12?) families were full share owners and so they had more legal rights than those who came later for only half shares. Coffin was one of the big full share names. This house was a veritable mansion in its day and managed to survive even in 1987 when lightening hit and exploded the brick chimney knocking off the roof - the walls moved about a foot but that was all. It's 3 stories high. All very fancy.

Field trip

Kirsten and I joined the botany class on a field trip to a marsh managed by umass in boston. I took a sneaky photo of our tour guide and the ocean that borded the marsh. I also got a photo of kirsten consulting with a student. The green thing in my hand is pickle weed. It had a fancy name I can't remember but tasting the pickleweed was the purpose of actually venturing out into the marsh itself. We also learned how to tell boy hermit crabs apart from girl ones - there's a mark on their bottom sides. Boys have a lighthouse and girls have a pyramid. We ate some other plants while we walked about. The most shocking part was on the way back to school when the teacher let one of the students smoke. Sheesh.

pretty purple flowers

This post is for my mother - she loves pansies. These are miniature ones that appeared to be growing like weeds, busting through cracks on the sidewalk. These are in front of the restaurant where we ate - the sea grill. They had great food but little servings and bad service. Vanya (my friend who now lives in chicago) would have hated it because they took away our plates the second we appeared to be finished. Just made us feel rushed. The water guy, when we were basically done with our food, asked if we would want more water - instead of just keeping the glasses filled - it was like he wanted permission to stop serving us.

Walk

Tonight we walked to kirsten's weaving place. It was cool. She even let me try a bit. Unfortunately I failed to photograph the moment. I did remember, though, to take a picture of the middy road we traversed. This place is pretty sandy everywhere you go. It truly feels like an island. Everyone is pretty friendly - I can imagine it would be fun to be a part of the community.

Bedroom

Here is where I sleep. Smallis room. The whole apartment is just over half the size of my house - but it's perfect. I really like the set up - great place! You'll notice the contents of my wallet on my bed. Remember how I got rained on for half my walk home? The wallet was soaked throug.
today I went to school with my brother and gave a lecture to his students about the importance of setting a purpose - for reading, learning, and for life. It was pretty good if I do say so. After the lecture while they worked on a review guide one kid asked me for help writing essays. That was fun and made me feel smart. I also spent some time visiting with the journalism teacher there. It's an award winning paper and since i'm feeling nervous about my responsibilities next year to teach journalism I really wanted some good tips and/or suggestions s which she gave me! I'm excited to try some of her ideas and methods! All in all today felt pretty productive. Now to read my book, "our mutual friend."

Resting

In this photo you can see the trail and the cars that are on the road next to it. I came across this bench next to pretty flowers where I decided to take a break. All along the trail I saw beautiful plants! Bright yellow ones that reminded me of forsythia (but were different), lilacs - but little ones, azaleas, and bouganvilla (sp?) that looked like huge azaleas. All so gorgeous! The color was great because if you're not seeing gray on all the buildings then you're seeing green from all the plants.

Walking through nantucket

My walk from the airport was mostly on this wide trail that went alongside the main road - kind of like a frontage road. What cracked me up were the various stop signs on the trail - as if it was like a real road. This intersection was also interesting for its large collection of mailboxes. Other sidewalks here seem to be made out of brick or asphalt - rarley have I seen any concrete.

Airport shot

It doesn't show well, but in the background is the watch tower for nantucket airport. It's a small place. There were a few cessnas and then our little jet that had 10 people on it. The airport worker collected us at the bottom of the stairs of the plane and then walked us to the building. I wish i'd taken a photo of their baggage collection area. Basically it was a wall of windows - i'm guessing they take your luggage and pass it throught the window thing to let it rest on a metal shelf - much like the moving metal collection areas at real airports, but this one didn't move. anyway, the whole place was cute. Since I walked to my brother's from the airport I thought I should get a photo of the place - I remembered right as I left the parking lot. It wasn't a terribly long walk - maybe an hour is all. Too bad it began to rain about half way through. It's nt sunny here - the whole place is grayish.

Freezing wait

It's raining in ny. We have a 2 hour delay before take off. I think i'll nap. Just wanted to report I resisited chocolate - I remembered I had shortbread cookies in my bag. Yum! By the way - i've been freezing since I woke up. Why is ny so cold? I blame the rain.

Food

I'm surrounded by the most delicious food options: dunkin donuts, sushi, starbucks, sbarro's, wendy's, etc. And i'm stuck eating celery, an orange, and some pizza muffins that came from the depths of my freezer. Call me cheap. What i'm really craving, though, is a package of m&m's. Not sure why. Was it the four hour nap I had on the plane? I didn't even feel take-off I was so sound asleep. Now to kill two hours without succumbing to the lure of fast food and chocolate.

Mystery solved

Ever wonder where the airport stores their wide selection of wheelchairs? Well, I found them. They're at the furthest end of the last arm of the airport - you know - for convenience or something. I'm waiting to board my midnight flight to nantucket. I can't wait to put in the earplugs and take the benadryl. It was a long full day and not as perfectly satisfying as the weekend was.

Lasagna leftovers

Today I made lasagna for dinner. I'm headed out of town tomorrow (hooray for summer break!) and knew I didn't want leftovers so I invited some old friends over. It was a great evening and i'm glad I did it. I like cooking and I like sharing my creations. You all might remember a time I made pizza and shared it with cindy and marsha. Do you remember that cindy? Remember how I couldn't figure out why the cheese wasn't melting? Upon closer inspection we discovered that I had been fooled into thinking the bag of hashbrowns in the freezer looked exceptionally similar to a bag of frozen mozarella. Well the frozen white food product fooled me again! My lasagna was perfect in every way except that the pound of mozarella turned out to be a pound of hashbrowns. and just like the pizza incident it wasn't all bad. The tomato flavor was a bit strong and it seemed a bit dry, but this was all that was left of the 9x13 pan after 6 people ate. Everyone was exceptionally kind about it and we enjoyed laughing about it. I'm just glad I had the good family type friends over instead of the new kinds you want to impress. It was a great evening and I have some yummy lunch for tomorrow.

parenting

so i often find myself reading articles about autism. every now and then i worry that my fascination is an omen that i'll wind up being the parent to an autistic child. the odds seem pretty high - i'm no mathematician but the fact that i read about it a lot makes my odds high in my head. anyway, i was reading an article today - it was an old one from the ny times that i printed off and am finally getting around to. a quote in there fascinated me in terms of parenting in general.

"i treat everything the child does as having a reason - to feel calmer, for example, or to feel excited," dr. greenspan told me. "often the parents have notions of what the child should be doing, so they're trying to control the child rather than build on the child's natural interests."

so what do you think of that quote? good stuff, no? i want to be the sort of parent/teacher/adult that doesn't control but insteads facilitates. (that was the best word i could come up with for what it sounds like he's describing.)

consequences

so, if you leave your car window open by accident over night you risk having things stolen - like your car. or, as in my case, you just run the risk of having rain get in there. yep, it was a heavy rain storm last night and my window was open. who knew? well, luckily i have leather seats so just the floor mat really appeared wet.

in other news... i saw a boy, who i know for a fact has a heart condition, walking around holding a 2 liter bottle of mountain dew. can that be good for him? the soda this generation is consuming boggles my mind.

end of year humor

one of my fellow english teachers passed this around to the faculty this morning. it was the laugh i needed to get through day 8 of the count down. (i'll apologize upfront that i don't have an exact source - i can't get to the onion's website at school - blocked - you know how it goes.)

This was recently published in THE ONION, and I thought maybe, at this time of year, you would enjoy it.


WASHINGTON-A shocking report released by the U.S. Department of Education
this week revealed that a growing number of the nation's educators struggle
on a daily basis with some form of teaching disability.
The study, which surveyed 2,500 elementary and high school level
instructors across the country, found that nearly one out of every five
exhibited behaviors typically associated with a teaching impairment. Among
them: trouble paying attention in school, lack of interest or motivation
during class, and severe emotional issues.

"For teaching-disabled and at-risk educators, just coming to school every
day is a challenge," said Dr. Robert Hughes, a behavioral psychologist and
lead author of the study. "Even simple tasks, like remaining alert and
engaged during lessons, can be a struggle. Unfortunately, unless we take
immediate action, these under-performers will only continue to fall further
behind."

"Our teachers are in trouble," Hughes continued. "Some can't even teach at
a basic sixth-grade level."

As noted in the report, hundreds of schools have already begun setting up
special classrooms in which the teaching- disabled can receive the extra
attention they require, teach at their own unique pace, and be paired up
with patient students who can help to keep them on track.

According to school administrators, new programs like these encourage
marginalized and disenfranchised teachers by rewarding them for showing up
to school prepared and taking an active part in classroom discussions. Many
also have counselors on hand to intervene when an instructor grows
frustrated or throws a tantrum and storms out of the room.

In the new "Teachers First!" program at Wesley Academy in Chicago,
educators who were once labeled "lost causes" and left to flounder in the
system for years on end are now diagnosed with specific teaching disorders,
given extra time to grade difficult assignments, and, in the case of
particularly troubled teachers, moved back a grade.

"We're much more sensitive now to the factors that influence their
behavior: abusive home lives, drug and alcohol problems, or often, the fact
that they never should have been put in regular classrooms to begin with,"
Wesley principal Donald Zicree said. "A lot of these poor men and women have
been told they can't teach for so long that many start to believe it after a
while."

"Rather than punishing our teachers or kicking them out, we give them a
gold star every time they do something right," Zicree continued. "If they
write the correct answer to a math problem on the board, they get a gold
star. If they volunteer to read aloud during English class, they get a gold
star. You'd be amazed what a little positive reinforcement can do. Some of
our teachers† have even stopped drinking in their cars during lunch."

According to Zicree, school officials aren't the only ones excited by the
difference the new programs are making. Many educators have also responded
favorably, realizing that they no longer have to act out or create
disruptions in order to get the attention they so desperately crave.

For a few, like Michael Sturges, a 10th-grade history teacher at Wagar High
School in Council Grove, KS, being put in a special classroom has reawakened
a love for teaching he hasn't felt in years.

"Now that I know I have a teaching disability I don't beat myself up so
much when I have a bad day or can't grasp the material we're working with,"
said Sturges, 38, who has pinned a number of perfectly graded assignments up
on his wall. "I used to think teaching and stuff was pretty lame, but now-I
dunno-I guess it's all right. If anything, being in school now might help me
to get a decent job when I'm older."

Added Sturges, "You know, something that pays more than $24,000 a year."

Guess where I am

I came to orem cemetery for memorial day service - very cool. But since I was in the 'hood I decided to visit my grandparents. They've got a great spot up on the hill. Nice seeing them - although I tend to think of them when I visit orem anyway. They were good grandparents - i'm glad I got to live with them for a few months back in college.

Beware

You know how brushing your teeth after eating candy can make your toothbrush a scary color? Well, I ate a lot of lettuce tonight. Spring mix, actually. Anyway, the toothbrush was an unsightly poo green color. Just so you know.

background for last post

not that it's needed, but i think it's a bit interesting. i had a dream over the weekend. all i remember is the end where i was wandering around a large building looking for my friends but either all the doors were locked or nobody was where they were supposed to be. i finally came across one friend who was sitting at a bar depressed. i joined her. i was wearing a pink bathrobe and had one over stuffed oreo left to share - i had eaten the rest of the package while wandering. as you can imagine, i woke up from the dream a bit depressed. it felt real enough that i actually ate ice cream for breakfast (i had no oreos in the house) and the rest of the day i struggled with similar feelings. so this morning, when i was reading my scriptures and came across that verse in helaman i suddenly felt empowered to take off the bathrobe and throw out the last oreo. metaphorically.

historically may can be a real struggle for me. i always get depressed at the end of the school year - i start missing my kids and missing the ones that have gone on before. i miss all the lost opportunities and truthfully, i fear the future big time. not so much summer, more the NEXT school year. yes, i tend to fear the future. since i have to do a lot in may to get ready for next school year it's a real struggle for me - lots of confused and mixed emotions. add to this stress i'm still coping with the loss of my father two summers ago. this year i've been doing lots better, but i got hit by it big this weekend. and you know how it is when you get sad and stressed, it's easy to find lots of other things to be sad and stressed about. so, like i said, that verse in helaman was a real necessary kick in the pants.

i'd like to report that today was one of my best school days so far. good class discussion, no conflicts with rowdy students - just nice easy goodnes.

Helaman 16:22

This verse spoke to me today. Do you ever find your mind thinking unproductive negative thoughts? I had one of those internal struggles yesterday. In the end I believe truth won out, but it was hard and it may have cost me some joy. My mother used to tell me to count my many blessings - I believe that may be one of the most effective ways to combat any foolish and vain thinking.

warning

don't carry a red folder against your chest with a water bottle in the crook of your arm while wearing a white shirt. if you do, be prepared with a clorox stick - hooray for modern day miracle inventions.

p.s. the yearbooks have arrived! the year of death is nearly over!

tired thursday

i generally wake up on time. most often i wake up before the alarm goes off. this morning i over slept by 10 minutes. 10 minutes can totally throw off my morning routine - i keep my mornings packed and i'd already put off a couple minor things to squeeze into my morning that i normally do before bed. so what did i do? i decided to stay in bed another 45 minutes. somehow in my head i reasoned that i was just skipping out on my morning exercise, granted i only allow 30 minutes for exercise in my schedule - somehow in my tired head it all equaled out. i rarely (think once every 3 years) give myself permission to "sleep in." well it only lasted another 15 minutes. by then i'd done the math and realized i would miss my scripture reading time as well. one of the reasons i fill my morning so full is because getting exercise and scriptures read before work seriously has an impact on how well i feel and how patient i am with my students. for their sakes as much as mine i need to do those two things. well, i can feel it. i can feel that i missed one of the two. maybe i'll take a brisk walk to the office - or do some jumping jacks. or even just a sun salutation will be better than nothing. i had a tough day on tuesday, i'm determined to be better today! one of my favorite lectures for students is that if they act tired they'll only be more tired - it's about time i started acting energized - i need it!

Chocolate Covered Strawberries

I probably should have saved this for a wordless wednesday type of post. instead - we'll call it... manic monday. don't you get a bit manic when eating chocolate covered strawberries? sure, sounds good to me too. you should have seen some of the other photos. really.

Earrings

Ever wonder how much people notice your earrings? My sisiter used to say she felt naked without them and couldn't leave the house without putting at least a basic pair in. Today, in my debate over which ones perfectly completed my outfit, I apparently left with one turqouise dangle and one silver/brown dangle. Nobody noticed. When I got home I showed bret - I made him look at me and tell me if he noticed anything different. I even held the hair back. Finally after a wrong guess and with a little gesturing he figured it out. I should mix and match more often! It would make the decision of which to wear a lot simpler!

Breakfast in tropic

We managed to eat every major meal at a place named after a man. Even ruby was short for reuben. Clarke's might be more of a family name. It's my sister's married name - I took it as a good omen either way. They had some delicious hot cakes. The dishes were brightly colored and the walls had fake brick showing through the plaster - very rustic.

The koa

Speaking of relaxed. This is a shot of my view from bed. I retired around 8. we spent some time sitting on the front porch watching evening come on. We also visited with a stray cat. I did some crocheting. We were tired. The koa was fabulous and perfect for our needs. As you can see i'm in the top bunk. Kristin slept below me and plewe took the full sized bed next to us. The place had wifi, a pool, and the cleanest bathrooms, and best showers ever. I give the bryce canyon koa 10 thumbs up!

Relief

After our strenuous hike we went to ruby's (where we'd sayed on one of our earliest wwww tours) for lunch/dinner. we were exhausted. This photo doesn't fully capture our relief to be sitting but I did get a large pina colada - the epitome of relaxed.

Fairyland

These photos were taken about halfway through. We had lunch shortly after - traditional salami and provolone on sourdough. And some tapioca for dessert. This was also about the time kristin tried to find a bandaid in her pack for a nasty blister on her heel. Alas, we'd left all our first aid stuff in the car. Smart, I know. We would stop every half hour and try to repad it with tissues and napkins. Finally plewe asked an older couple crossing our path if they had a bandaid to spare. They had moleskin - the best invention ever! unfortuantely even that gave out before the end of the hike. When we got back to the rim we left kristin and took the rim trail back to our car (2.7 miles) and drove back to pick up our poor injured sister.

But check out all those great hoodoos! We were standing at the top of a range - so unbelievable to look down on what nature can create. It was also lots of fun to keep saying hoodoo.

Tower bridge

On the way to tower bridge (our original intended destination) we made friends with some germans. They told us how much they enjoyed hiking in sedona that we were persuaded to consider it for a future wwww tour. Another couple pointed out the china wall to us - sorry I didn't take a photo. It was at tower bridge that we ran into the germans again. They encouraged us to do the entire fairyland loop. The rest of the day we'd catch glimpses of them far up the trail - they at least kept me going. At the end of our hike we ran into a young couple that were self described nomads. They'd been hiking for days - everywhere and anywhere. They recommended the needles district. I can't imagine a life of hiking. One full day was enough to tide me over for a while.

Hiking ladies

This picture was taken near the start of our 5 hour, 8 mile hike of fairyland in bryce canyon. We intended to only do a third and turn back but by the time we got to destination tower bridge we were feeling strong enoug we just kept going. Every view was stunning and worth the effort.

Clem

Each wwww tour we get ourselves a mascot. Our first was probably a.j.r. homie - the homie from a grocery store in monroe ny - or some similarly named town. Anyway, clem is this year's mascot. he's a miniature cat that we got at larry's drive in. We kept him in his snow globe like container. In fact, while hiking we found some really pretty yellow dirt that we thought would make good "snow" for him. This photo was taken before we added the dirt.

WWWW 09 stop 1

here we are with empty food trays. Delicious shakes - wow - and hamburgers with real buns. Happiness.

I don't heart qwest

Earlier this week my modem decided to stop working. I called qwest and they confirmed it was broken. Since it was two years old there was nothing to do but accept my internet-less fate. I did a bit of shopping by phone and decided I better at least cancel my internet service with qwest since their defective product made it impossible for me to use their service. In talking to the sales rep I began to think I should cancel everything - phone and internet - afterall, 30 bucks for a landline I use less than my cell phone seems a little ridiculous. And that price would go up to about 40 if I dropped my internet. The salesman did a good job and convinced me to call back the next day and speak to their "loyalty department." when I did, I stated my frustrations and explained my plan to cancel all my services. Then I was put on hold for a few minutes and when the woman came back she said they decided to send me a new modem for free (60 bucks if I paid for it myself) and give me my landline for half price for the next four months - enoug time to decide if I want to bother keeping it. Because truthfully, I was a bit nervous about cancelling it all together. I know they got what they wanted and i'm still paying for a service I may not need - but I also got what I originally wanted - a replacement modem despite the expiration of the warranty. So, what triggered this post, though, was an email they sent me asking for feedback on my recent "service" from qwest. An email! My complaint is that my internet doesn't work and they send me an email. I have to take the survey before monday - well my new modem may arrive on monday or tuesday. Does anyone else see the idiocy in this situation?

friendship

i read another great article in the ny times today. it's all about the value of friend. i loved it! i had to share it!

i thought about sending this to the wwww friends, but then i realized i have so many more i couldn't limit it to them. and although blog world isn't the most personal place to express appreciation for friends, i'm going to do it anyway. i am grateful for the best people a woman could ever ask for. i am awash in the goodness of quality people i feel i can call friend.

what follows is the very last portion of the articel - i tell you, science is amazing!

Last year, researchers studied 34 students at the University of Virginia, taking them to the base of a steep hill and fitting them with a weighted backpack. They were then asked to estimate the steepness of the hill. Some participants stood next to friends during the exercise, while others were alone.
The students who stood with friends gave lower estimates of the steepness of the hill. And the longer the friends had known each other, the less steep the hill appeared.
“People with stronger friendship networks feel like there is someone they can turn to,” said Karen A. Roberto, director of the center for gerontology at Virginia Tech. “Friendship is an undervalued resource. The consistent message of these studies is that friends make your life better.”

stinkin' involuntary transfers!

i guess you could say it's a stinkin' week for me. yesterday we found out which teachers in our school have to be involuntarily transferred. one of the ones we lost is the photography/broadcasting teacher. he was a great resourse for all kinds of technical things. another one we lost is an english teacher. he was the only english teacher in our department who knew how to do anything with technology. he's the one that persuaded us all to start using word 2007. he's the one who helped teachers learn how to use it. he helped them set up their digital projectors. he created all sorts of professional documents our department - heck, our school - needed. without him we will fall back into the 20th century!

i'm determined to step up to the plate! i've taken on yearbook at my school and with it has come another slew of technical chellenges, far surpassing using word. i have to brag a bit, i learned word 2007 pretty decently on my own. i only had a couple questions for the co-worker. anyway, without him to lean on i see there's a much larger burden now on all of our shoulders. since i'm the next youngest in the department it's not only expected of me, i realize i have no one to turn to myself!

my new goal and determination are being inspired by a really cool scholarship opportunity offered by microsoft. if i win i get to attend some conference for computer stuff! if i go i might even learn the right words for all that computer stuff! how exciting is that?

Trees

This is a bosnian something or other. Saturday last I took a tree tour of byu's campus. I took this photo to share with the good buddy vanya and decided it may be worth sharing on the blog. I loved the tree tour. But it would have been 100 percent better if more trees had leaves. It was fun to people watch too. The campus is not the same anymore - neither are fashions - but essentially it's all the same. Flirting, eating, running, reading, you know - being alive and young. Pretty cool.

stinkin' racket!

i'm very upset. okay, yesterday i was more upset. today i have the emotions under control, even though today i found out i have a bigger reason to be upset. hooray for control! as the good friend plewe has advised, i patted myself on the head and told my ego everything was okay.

anyway, i still want to vent about the stinkin' racket going on taking advantage of teachers! back with the fabulous president we had earlier, a law was passed that caused much outrage among people in my profession. maybe you're familiar with it - nclb? at first i figured it wouldn't affect me negatively - i could handle the requirement - afterall, i'm a professional! well, i've since learned my lesson. somehow long ago i got teaching reading which led to me teaching english. only once in all my years have i managed to teach even one period of social studies. but, because of this fabulous law, i'm legally able to teach social studies, but not english. i'm considered highly qualified to teach social studies, but not english. quick parents - send me all your children needing a quality education in history and geography - i'll give them the best the state has to offer! but don't you dare let me go near your students when it comes to english - they might come out stupid and lacking in reading and writing skills. i know what my regular readers are thinking, "wait sarah, didn't you just finish a degree in english? didn't you just fight tooth and nail to get weber to acknowledge that you've successfully learned enough english to have a real live degree?" and the anser is yes! i did and i have the transcripts and the pretty certificate to prove it! but.... nclb says that's not enough. nclb says unless i have a master's degree then i'm not highly qualified. excuse me, i mean a master's degree in english - my master's in education with an emphasis on teaching reading doesn't count. oh, wait, nclb, in all its good wisdom, has allowed for an alternate way of proving my qualifications. i can take a test. yes! i can pay 130 dollars to some "education testing SERVICE" for the opportunity to take a test (that everyone says is stupidly easy) to prove that i am highly qualified to teach english.

yesterday i wanted to stand on principle and refuse to take the dumb test and just force my school district to find a job for me teaching social studies. forget that i've served as a literacy specialist for the district, been a coah/mentor to other language arts teachers, acted as a yearbook editor - i'm not highly qualified - i need to be in a classroom teaching history and/or geography. that's what i'm most qualified to do. that's the best way for me to serve our nation's children. i tell you - it's a racket! i know, because just the other night i watched "on the waterfront" - i tell you i could have been a contender! but instead i gave in and just paid my stinkin' 130 bucks to the stinkin' "service" so i can continue to teach the stinkin' english.

did i ever tell you about the english teacher in high school who told me NOT to major in english? i listened, then i let the system convince me otherwise.

(i wish i weren't so tempted to agree with nclb about my qualifications - but really maybe i'd be better suited in a social studies room.)

refi

i just finished signing my life away. i refinanced the house. now instead of 5.75 i have 4.65 - i'm telling myself it was worth it. i think i now have a tree's worth of papers to take home and file away. if i were better at math i'd be able to say when this house would be paid for, but as it is i just have a general goal of another five years. here's hoping i'm right! i was reminded of "the secret" today - i've decided it's time i place an order with the universe. house paid for in five. house paid for in five. house paid for in five. house paid for in five. house paid for in five.

surprise!

i can't believe i've been such a poor blogger this spring. it's true i don't have a lot of free time, but you'd think i'd have time to tell a story or two! while i was away on my holiday i went to the lego store with my nephews. we were standing in line for about an hour (it was a free mini-kit night and the families were out) so to kill time i browsed through the photos on my cell phone. there were a few i had meant to turn into blogs! i don't think i ever did. such old news, though.

anyway, the trip to california was fabulous! the drive wasn't too bad either. in fact, i like long road trips - lots of good solid conversation. while in california i started crocheting an afghan. i'm not sure why. i was in the middle of tatting and my nieces commented that they remembered i'd been working on it for a few years. it's supposed to be a piano runner, but at this rate it will be a coffin runner. my one niece had a book of afghans and they were so pretty that i decided to put off the coffin runner and start an afghan. silly me. anyway, i'm making good progress! it uses a q sized hook which helps make it go faster. it is made up of 95 hexagons. if i do four a week then i'll be done in about 6 months. that's my goal! i can do about one hexagon a half hour so i figure with a good strong push each weekend i can keep my goal.

in other news, this weekend i finished reading the hiding place. it was on the religiously heavy side, but i didn't mind. in fact, i probably needed it. i thought it was an appropriate message for my easter weekend. in fact, this morning i caught myself having a selfish thought and the message from the book popped in my head about true charity. only god is capable of doing good - we are his hands - but it is he that changes hearts. we should never judge ourselves to be better than others, or someone else to be unworthy of our love. the women in the book loved everyone and strived to share the light of god's love even with the darkest people in their lives - their concentration camp guards.

there are 8 weeks left of school - 38 days not counting today - which means only 19 a days and 19 b days. holy cow! my feeling of amazement and excitement is mirrored in my niece's expression when she came down the stairs easter morning to see all the surprises left by the easter bunny.

thoughts

it's been so long since i posted i couldn't even remember the last thing i'd shared. well this morning i did some reading in the book of mormon about how the good nephites experienced a schism - one group wanted to have a king and practice priest craft. the others feared they'd lose their right to worship the way they'd like. it got me thinking about how so many sacred things are turned and manipulated for selfish purposes. i can't help but wonder what i may be using for my personal gain. are my intentions of service truly selflessly motivated? do i act out of love and kindness or self gratification? maybe that's why it's so important that our motives are pure - if you can put yourself aside, deny selfish impulses, then it's likely your actions will be for the good of others. tough. anyway, i was planning to just keep all those thoughts to myself, but then my sister in law sent a picture that just made me laugh. and at the same time feel sad for the world. her brother currently lives in jerusalem. this is a flyer he received in the mail the other day. look closely, the details speak for themselves.

p.s. it's spring break starting tomorrow - hooray for a holiday! i'm headed to sacramento to see my good sister's family - the ones that like to put on an opera each year. the same sister who gave me the recipe for those delicious cinnamon rolls you see below. it'll be a really great break! oh, and in other good news, i just decided to NOT teach summer school this year. that means i'll have no job, which leaves me feeling unproductive, but at the same time super happy that i'll get a real summer break for the first time in all my years of teaching.

Cinnamon rolls

I'm no pioneer woman but I do like to cook - and here's a photohraph of my latest. The batch I made a few weeks ago looked better but these taste better (note small hole on upper right). I'm taking them to work to celebrate a coworker's bday. She doesn't like chocolate and I figured no one was thrilled to try prune cake or garbanzo bean cake.

seeing

"Everybody can be great because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You don't have to know about Plato and Aristotle to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love. And you can be that servant." - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

i read this quote on sherpa's blog the other day. it made me happy. it made me want to see people differently. i hope i can SEE people serving instead of what i normally see. i believe we see what we look for. i want to look for goodness and service.

and in case you were wondering, i failed to bake this weekend. i DID practice the piano a lot, though. and i got to enjoy a very peaceful experience at the temple. it was a weekend full of blessings. here's hoping i can enjoy this week as well.

working

but i'd rather be home baking. just in a mood. i really struggled this morning to convince myself it was only thursday. by the time saturday comes i hope i'm still in the mood to bake.

Ghost pencil

Who else suffers from this affliction? How do you teachers out there avoid it? Being the ever ready and practical teacher that I am, I keep a pencil tucked behind my ear all day. You never know when a kid will need one. Plus I use it write everything that's not done on a computer. I can't live without my pencil. But then... when I get home... I find myself checking my ear to see if it's still there. Like getting off a boat, or at the end of rollerskating, I still have the sensation that there's a pencil up there. Usually there isn't since the last act of the day is to return the pencil to the designated mug. But to be sure my hand goes up to verify I am pencil free. Seriously, this must happen at least once each night.
Today was long. Sophomore orientation from 5:30-8:30. And do I get paid? Doubt it. Such is the life of a teacher. Hmmm, this whine is sounding familiar. Did I already post about it today? I think it's time for bed.

march madness

okay, this is NOT a basketball post. it's just a little peek into my own madness that happens in march. first of all - it's a pretty stressful month. yearbook deadlines, end of third term, no holiday, weird weather, and the most annoying for me.... i keep wanting to use the number four to represent the month. i for the life of me can and never have been able to remember to use a three. it bugs. three three three. it is march. the third month. three.

Papercut!

Look what I did! I know - not the most productive use of my prep. But fun! Thanks cindy!

It works!

Okay so now to share somerhing super insightful and significant since that's what all my posts are about. On the way to my car this afternoon I came across a weed growing in a crack in the sidewalk. I took it as the first sign of spring. Shoot now I wish i'd photoed it for you all to see. Trust me... spring is virtually here!

Mobile test

I blog from my phone ALL the time but lately it's not working. I watched the how to video so now i'm trying again.